Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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