You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
