It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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