Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
