Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
