If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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