Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
