We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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