After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
