Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize