so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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