I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
