you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
