I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
