I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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