If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
