winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
