I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
