The maid of honor just puked.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have post one night stand depression
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