OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
