I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The struggles of a small town man whore
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
