So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
