whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
