Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
