I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
