i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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