So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
COCAINE IS GR8
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
