um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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