Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
