what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
false alarm, still single
Randomize
