I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
