All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
