ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
