she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
