If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize