I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
