Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Green mimosas i think yes
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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