I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
