This is not my ceiling
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
