God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i came on her dog
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
