your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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