I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
