it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
