I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
