think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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