My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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