im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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