i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
