How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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