her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
