Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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