Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
