so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
